“I hate myself”
“I wish I was never born”
“Why can’t I do what is right”
“How can God love me when I have sinned so much”
“If the church knew of my sins, they would reject me”
“You did it again…”
“You are such a hypocrite; how can you serve God after all you have done”
When condemnation comes in like a flood you may find yourself sinking into self-hatred and loathing. The above words can be replayed constantly in your mind like a broken recorder, continually feeding your life with shame. It can be hard to serve God when you are filled with condemnation as you accuse yourself of hypocrisy based on your past and current sins. The worst-case scenario is finding comfort in the condemnation and concluding, “God does not love me and I will never overcome my struggles”. Alternatively, you may pull back from God and the fellowship of other believers as you conclude you are unworthy of being in their presence.
Shame will keep you in a cycle of sin as you seek comfort in more sin. Shame will also keep you from seeking God and the help of other believers. When we sin, we should run to God not away from God.
The Bible tells us that we all have fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), meaning we all have dealt with the shame and condemnation that comes with our sins. Shame is not an unfamiliar word; the first couple encountered it in the Garden of Eden. The book of Genesis 3 describes the fall of man. God had created the Garden of Eden where He could fellowship with man. In the middle of the garden was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil which they were told not to eat.
However, Satan found a cunning way to convince them to disobey God and consume the forbidden fruit. My focus is Genesis 3:7 after they ate the fruit. It says, “Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked, and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings”.
Before Adam and Even ate the forbidden fruit they were naked and did not feel shame for their nakedness. I believe before the fall they were covered by the glory of the Lord. All of a sudden man sinned and felt shame for their nakedness and it was before their maker. The response of Adam and Eve covering their nakedness and shame with fig leaves is typical of us. Whenever we feel that we have fallen short of the standards of God for righteousness, we use our efforts to cover that nakedness.
Our fig leaves could be buying more cars, rising on the career ladder, buying fancy clothes, associating with the socially upright in society or having a form of outward godliness. All these things fail in dealing with the issue of sin because Hebrews 9:22 tells us that there is no forgiveness of sins without the shedding of blood. Even after making coverings of fig leaves to cover their nakedness, Adam and Eve still hid from God because they were dealing with shame and guilt for their sins and the fig leaves were insufficient to deal with sin.
Any attempt to cover our sins with our good works fades and withers like fig leaves; it is only through the shedding of blood at the cross that sin is dealt with sufficiently.
It Has Been Paid For
In Genesis 3:21 God paved the way for dealing with our sins – through the shedding of blood. It says that the Lord God made tunics of skin, and clothed them. For God to give them garments of goat skin, an animal had to die. This fulfilled the principle that there is no forgiveness of sins without the shedding of blood. God was proclaiming the gospel in advance to the couple that there would be one named, the lamb of God, who would deal with the issue of sin completely by being the perfect sacrifice.
Since our fig leaves (Good works) are insufficient to deal with our sins and guilt, we should fix our eyes on Calvary, at the cross. God describes our righteousness as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:4). To be free from guilt and shame, we look at the perfect sacrifice on the cross. In the book of 2 Corinthians 5:21, we are told that He who had no sin became Sin so that we could become the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. When you struggle with guilt as a believer it is because you seem not to understand where the judgement of your sin is. Let me summarize it with this phrase:
If it’s on him then it can’t be on you, if it’s on you it can’t be on him.
If the punishment for your sin is on Jesus, it cannot be on you; otherwise, God would be unrighteous for judging a sin twice (or in two places). This revelation frees you from the burden of guilt for sin. You have to look closely at that rugged cross and realize it should have been you on that cross but someone took your place.
If there is a person who knew what it meant for someone to take their place of punishment, it was a criminal named Barabbas. According to Luke 23:19, Barabbas was a well-known criminal who was imprisoned for insurrection, murder and other crimes. He was a man condemned to die for his sins. However, due to envy, the Pharisees instigated the crowd to choose him over Jesus for release by Pilate.
Imagine this, Barabbas woke up knowing his fate was to die but someone else took his place and he got to walk away free. Surprisingly, the name Barabbas means ‘Son of the Father’. What an irony they released a murderous ‘son of the father’ and crucified the true son of the Father, Jesus. It should have been you who was to be condemned for your sins but Jesus took your place on that rugged cross.
Stop living by your feelings and rest on the truth of the word of God. It says if you have put your faith in Christ Jesus, then he has died for your sins on the cross. Believe you are forgiven and your feelings will follow suit.
What if I sin? Repent, ask for forgiveness and the strength of the Holy Spirit to deliver you from sin (1 John 2:1-2). Pick yourself after the fall, and try again. The path of sanctification is a journey, the more you yield and submit to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, the less you sin and this reduces your guilt.
Rest in His Love
Lastly, rest in God’s love for you. One of the most basic needs in life is the desire to love and be loved. It is ingrained in us to desire fellowship with others because we are created in the image of God who is love. The Love of God will sustain you through some of the toughest trials in life. Even Jesus was sustained by God’s love on the cross because he knew the Father would not abandon him to decay in the grave. It was an act of love that Jesus was hanging on the cross (John 3:16).
In Hebrews 12:2, we are told that for the joy set before Him, he endured the cross. You were his joy; you were the reason that he endured all that pain on that rugged cross. Nails did not keep Jesus on the cross, love did. God can express his love to us in various ways, but there is no greater proof of His love for us than on the cross.
God did not start loving you when you stopped being a mess and started pursuing him. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his love for us in this; while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” God started loving you way before you knew of him. Receiving his love allows us to love ourselves and out of that overflow pour his love into the lives of others.
I will share a truth I discovered in my walk with God. When the crushing becomes too painful, rest in His love. When you rest in God’s love, it is an assurance that God is not against you but against that which is against you. It comforts you with the message that God is for you and He is only trying to purify you from that which will come against your destiny.
Don’t Find Comfort in Condemnation
God loves us so much that he will meet us where we are. However, He also loves us so much that he will not leave us the same way He found us. The love of God is also described as reckless love. It is incomprehensible and beats logic that the creator of the universe will wrap himself in flesh to save a people who in the first place will not love him back. That Jesus would leave the glory of heaven and die on the cross to redeem man; beats any form of logic.
However, love propelled him to do so. It is this love that will heal your tattered identity and thereby help you see yourself. It is also illogical to leave the 99 and go after the one. Yet, God’s reckless love will seek out the one with so much passion until He wins them over. You know what; you are the one He is after.
He loves you… Don’t ever forget that!!!!
